Gerald
1. ‘You are not even beneath my contempt.’
2. ‘There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it.’
3. ‘The 1980’s called. They want their fashion back.’
4. ‘I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?’
5. ‘It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.’
6. ‘You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.’
7. ‘You look like a before picture.’
8. ‘I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.’
9. ‘Shock me, say something intelligent.’
10. ‘I don’t care how funny you are, if I don’t like you, I won’t laugh.’
11. ‘If I got a penny for everyone I’ve met who is as beautiful as you, I’d have all the money in the world.’
12. ‘Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.’
13. ‘I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.’
14. ‘I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.’
15. ‘If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.’
16. ‘It’s not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about you.’
17. ‘Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?’
18. ‘If you’re going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.’
19. ‘Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?’
20. ‘Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.’
21. ‘You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best.’
22. ‘Everyone who has ever loved you was wrong’
23. ‘I don’t want you to turn the other cheek. It’s just as ugly.’
But don’t worry… he loves you… and so do we!
