President Trump addresses the nation and decrees that with immediate effect, disparaging remarks about ‘hair pieces’ will be classed as hate crimes and punishable by death. Statically charged balloons are also banned.
Within 1 Hour
Within 24 Hours
All other politicians, senators, and government officials in the USA are ‘fired’ with immediate effect, leaving Trump in sole control of the country and its military. All US assets are transferred into Trump’s Estate and Fort Knox is renamed ‘Fort Donald’.
Within 48 Hours
President Trump (now known as The Supreme Leader) continues to ‘rebrand’ former US government (now Trump Holdings) buildings, with The White House becoming ‘The Trump House’ and the Pentagon becoming ‘The Trumpagon’
Within 36 Hours
Construction begins on ‘The Great Wall Of Trump’ a 100ft wall to be erected along the US/Mexico border – the largest construction project in US history.
Between 1 & 2 Weeks
The Statue of Liberty is replaced with ‘The Statue of Trump’ and the heads of former presidents on Mount Rushmore are replaced with Supreme Leader Trump’s image.
Within 2 Weeks
WAR! On a visit to The Trump House, newly elected EU President Angela Merkel is told by Trump that she’s ‘a little old and chubby for TV’, but ‘would make a great wife’ and ‘might look good in Playboy if they photoshopped off a few pounds’. A state of War is declared between the European Union and the USA.
Within 3 Weeks
In a 4 minute live TV broadcast, Supreme Leader Trump uses the word ‘China’ 937 times. While he had in fact been talking about something completely unrelated (and just happens to love using the word), this is misconstrued by the Chinese government as an insult to their culture. China enters the war and launches a preemptive nuclear strike against Texas. Trump shrugs this off as ‘basically Mexico anyway’, and begins working with a crack team of US scientists on an ‘ultimate weapon’ to use in retaliation and to settle the conflict once and for all.
Within 4 Weeks
The ultimate weapon, a bomb powered by Trump’s own ego, is complete. Trump orders its immediate deployment against the ‘non Americans’ and takes out the rest of the world in one fell swoop, leaving America as the last remaining country on planet Earth.
4 Weeks & Beyond…
With no one left on Earth to declare war upon, Trump declares war on the rest of the Universe. Preparing to use his super weapon once more, Trump visits the post apocalyptic remains of New York (destroyed by China during the bloody day 26 of Trump’s presidency) and addresses the American people. He declares the first month of his presidency a huge success. No one has the balls to disagree.
America… you have been warned.